landslide

i love you very much.  the last words i said to my pop.  he defied everyone and held on for the last two weeks but now he is gone.  knowing that i was going to lose him has't made it any easier or made my heart ache any less.
john charles matthews was a wonderful man.  i knew him simply as the kind pop with a beautiful smile that was always gentle and loving with his grandchildren but he was so much more.  he was a hero.  i never knew about his injuries in the war but i recently found out that he spent 11 months in hospital at the end of it.  he was 17 when he joined up.  he had to lie to get in to the navy as he was too young but he wanted to be like his brothers and fight for his country.  he never talked about it though and that just makes him more of a hero in my eyes.
to find myself losing both my grandfathers within a month makes me realise how much i love my family.  they are the people that love you no matter what and will support you no matter what.
it makes my heart hurt that i couldn't see my pop more often as he was such a gentle wonderful man.  the piercing whistle when alex and i got to sydney airport, the swimming in the neighbours pool and the tinkering in the shed nailing bits of wood are all such joyful memories.  i've always said that i was so lucky to have all four grandparents at the age of 26.  even though it hurts so much to lose someone that i love so much i'm glad that i had so much time to love him.  i can't bear the thought that i will never hear him say 'rightio sweet' to nan ever again or see him sit so contentedly reading the finance section of the paper. how strange it is that my world has stopped but everyone goes on with their lives not even knowing what they have missed by losing such a great man.
i said it two weeks ago and i say it again now.  i love you very much pop.